I’d like to bring us back to the mid-’90s for a moment. I’m rummaging through my mother’s beauty cabinets smelling past-their-prime lotions, and searching for nail polishes and lipsticks she’ll never miss. What I come upon is a small blue two blade razor. Unlucky for me this holds extreme intrigue, as I’d just watched a woman in a commercial promoting her silky smooth tan legs after shaving. Of course, “Venus” by Shocking Blue played in the background.

I glide the razor over my leg sans water and soap to find that it, in fact, removes my eight-year-old baby leg hairs with ease. I keep going, and have to wear pants the rest of the week so my mother doesn’t find out about this. And so my relationship with body hair removal bagan.

Speed up to my early twenties and we’ll find that my idea of how to remove hair from my body hasn’t changed much, with the exception that there are many more places you can remove hair from and seemingly countless ways to do it. By this point I’ve dipped my toes into the waxing world, which taught me that I’m not a waxing girl (Leaving in the middle of a Brazilian after you’ve already paid for it is a great way to find out how serious you are about being a non-waxer.)

Unfortunately, my wax aversion does not match up with the Petra Collins ideals of overgrown armpits and sheer underwear holding full bushes. I commend, and support, the freedom of choice in these areas, however, my Venus razor upbringing is far too ingrained. Over the years that fascination with smoothness has led me to a few products that aid me in coming close to my unrealistic expectations. They are as below.

Words, Megan Laber

So, You Want To Scrub...

I never really processed the power of a scrub until my first time getting the full body deal at a Korean spa in my neighborhood. Besides feeling like I was being prepared to be cooked, I left that experience a new person (literally, on a dermal level). What followed was better legs post shave for weeks on end. At home, try:

1. Herbivore Coco Rose Body Polish – This staple is a little drier and has a salt-of-the-earth texture. Good for the whole body, I like that it leaves just a hint of moisture behind once rinsed.
2. Omorovicza Gold Sugar Scrub – This, my friends, is the luxe holy grail of better body skin.The price is steep, but my legs had never felt better. I’m trying to skimp on it but I’m not sure it’s possible.
3. Binu Binu Seshin Korean Body Scrub – Going back to my time on the scrub table, this Korean beauty staple comes from one of my favorite soap brands and has a large grain scrub that truly gets the job done. Go the extra mile and get their scrub mitt for your own K-Spa self care.

Get An Oil Change

Toss the can of cream. When it comes to not stripping your legs + other areas of their humanity you need to consider an oil combination as your shave aid. The smoother, more hydrating surface will allow for less red marks and dryness. The lotion also lasts longer on pre-oiled areas post-shower.

1. Balmyard Romantic Call Body Oil: I like to put this on if I shower at night to go out, or if I’ll be in close proximity with someone. It has a vanilla base that I’m usually not fond of, but here it actually reads sweet + sultry.
2. Jao Goe Oil: This essential balm is perfect when mixed with a hint of soap and water. My personal go-to, I like how when it heats up between your palms a little goes a long way.
3. Fur Oil: This baby is for post-shave, and something I’d been meaning to try for years. As I said before, I’m not an all natural woman, so when I heard this was more for those who kept more on I wasn’t sure the benefits were in it for me. What I learned upon use was that it is for hair and shaved areas alike. The citrus-scented oil is a lifesaver in terms of halting the possibility of ingrown hairs near the bikini line and actually leaves you less irritated. To be honest, nothing has worked quite like it for me. It’s become a staple.

Something Close To Your Dad’s Razor, Preferably

I’m the first to complain about how new razors cost more than I like. I’m also the first to be annoyed when I need a new one and search the bottom of my beauty storage drawer to come up empty-handed. I also want to question why men’s razors work ten times better, yet I have a lot more real estate to cover.

I hope you’re embracing all the female-run brands that are answering problems like this. Billie, a razor subscription service for women, sends you a box of ultra-sharp (read: job well-done) razors with two replacement heads at the frequency of your choosing. No more last minute runs to the pharmacy or borrowing someone else’s (poor roomies!) It also has a soothing aloe bar that helps if you have sensitive skin like moi. In the age of convenience I consider this a god-send alongside to-your-door tampon deliveries. Did I mention they want to take on the special tax that specifically applies to women’s products? I can get with that.