I’m a self-proclaimed Houdini. The kind of smoke machine you don’t want on the dance floor. A “disco disappearer,” if you will. Don’t get me wrong, I go out, a lot. My favourite nights being those of the more intimate kind–a house party or a dinner-turned-living-room-dance-floor, where I’m drinking out of a 2013 football premiership mug and eating with a salad server and a steak knife. Whatever it means to be around those I love, talk to those I don’t get to see very often, and hug the ones I do. I think house parties are the ones where people really dance, spontaneous and real. Nonetheless, as much as I’d wish to moonlight myself as the ‘Hostess with the Mostess’, it is honestly a split second decision between thought and Uber when I’m home, mixing a tall glass of magnesium, taking off the small amount of makeup I now bother to put on, and in a zone aptly named – ‘full chill’.
Of recent months however, during the festivus that is ‘The Australia Summer’, where a little more effort in the drinking and glamour departments is necessitated (click for current per favors). I found my skin was slightly suffocating in the mild lack of attention associated with drunk and disorderly makeup removal sessions between the times of 2 and 5am. Waking up in the residue of bad mascara and badder decisions is not what you want – especially when met with a lack of avocado and/or quality sourdough in the pantry. But boy did I find the answer – guilt and cruelty free.
May I introduce you to your new best economical, ecological, and sustainable party friends. No, not the kind you get cornered to the point of no return talking about Forks Over Knives and how Vegenaise has changed their whole outlook on BLT’s. Nor that ‘friend of a friend’ filling up napkin after napkin at the grazing table because their girlfriend wanted a Reformer Pilates machine for Christmas – pulling the trigger on a big ol’ game of How Long Can I Survive On Olive Bread And Cabana Sticks (cough). No, I’m talking about the makeup removal kind of friends. Guaranteeing clearer skin and a clearer mindset faster than you can say methylisothiazolinone.
The new and extremely cool kid on the block. Keeping it simple, sustainable, and economical – ‘Au Naturale’. Bisous, translating to ‘kisses’ in the language of love – aptly named so as these pale-pink nanofiber makeup cloths literally make-out with your face leaving NOTHING behind. Simply add warm water, nothing else, and the fluffy towelette will remove any makeup and dirt without disrupting the PH of your skin. Celebrating real girls with real skin conditions at the small cost of $29.95 for 3 (subscriptions available), these babies are life-changing. Five Stars.
‘The Modern Makeup Remover’ and like a Shamwow for the face – Face Halo is that compact friend who often reminds you to freshen up…I love those friends. Perfectly sized for the pocket of your handbag, a few drops of water and a few minutes in the lavatory** will remove all dirt and grime in a matter of seconds. Perfect for a pre-gym sweat session or simply those moments when all measly attempts at winged eyeliner MUST be gone. Wash up to 200 times with soap after use, these powder-puff angels make washing your face feel like a 1980’s infomercial and i’m into it. Again, five stars.
* The active ingredient found in most disposable face wipes and the ACTIVE DESTROYER of the natural oils on our face.
**I.e toilet, a word used by my late grandmother, Ange, and now ingrained in my vocabulary. She didn’t like the label ‘Grandma’ so we called her Foxy – she wore pearls to the lavatory and was Avon’s top home buyer of the lipstick ‘Coral’, going through a stick a week. Goals.
Words, Tabatha Turner