When I was a little girl, I didn’t have that much knowledge of the beauty industry deeper than the ideal of light skin, blonde hair, blue eyes. I grew up with a mother who didn’t really subscribe to beauty standards. I remember not being able to pluck my eyebrows, purchase a razor to shave my legs, paint my nails, straighten my hair, buy makeup.
In hindsight I don’t know if that was because religion was prominent in my upbringing, but for the sake of this piece, I’m going to say it was because she wanted me to see my natural beauty, and perhaps, it was a little bit of both.
My mother said she was oblivious to beauty standards, growing up, she didn’t read magazines or watch any television. She says that she shielded me from those things, because, she knew once I started consuming them, I’d have to keep up with an unrealistic beauty standard for the rest of my life.
How I look is under constant scrutiny now that I work in fashion. I hear all the time, “aren’t you worried that one day you’ll stop working; one day you’ll stop looking like that?”
I take a photo on set, and today’s technology makes every pore and wrinkle visible to the naked eye. I sometimes leave thinking that I have all these abnormalities. Nobody else can see them though. I find myself obsessing every time I look in the mirror.
Because of my profession, my fixations are unhealthier than most, because, I feel like both my body and face are constantly being analysed and picked apart, especially online. I own every ‘at home’ device that plumps, defines, sculpts and rejuvenates.
I love getting compliments that I don’t look a day over twenty-five, but I always ask myself why?
Is it because I myself anguish over the fact that I’m no longer youthful and approaching ‘older’ age, because even though I’m trying to unlearn the patriarchal beauty standard, I’ve still grown up with subconscious messaging that once women hit a certain age, they’re no longer as desirable?
Am I still petrified of what looking older will bring?
I get told on set that I don’t have to worry about getting work done [yet] because I’m going to look like this for a while. What does that actually mean?
Why do people even assume I want to get work done in the first place?
Why do we keep telling people, “You look so good for your age”, like it’s a compliment?
We don’t have a framework for what different ages are supposed to look like because of surgeries and filters, how do we even know what ageing is supposed to look like? Just like all bodies look different, maybe ageing looks different on everyone too.
I want to be more like Pamela. She said that “I can’t wait to see myself old.. I always said I’d recognise myself when I was old in the mirror.”
I don’t want to look like anyone else. I think there is power in rejecting the beauty standard.
Gen Z is worried that they’re ageing like milk and our parents wish they still looked youthful.
Preventative botox is a capitalist lie. It’s not going to stop you from ageing. It’ll hide the process, sure, but you can’t stop nature. What if its role is to make you obsess over your appearance, and distract you from more important things.
Naomi Wolf, said that ‘”as women increasingly focus their attention on their physical appearance, their focus on equal rights and treatment takes a lower priority”. She says beauty is the “last, best belief system that keeps male dominance intact”.
When I look at other cultures, predominantly indigenous cultures, getting old is revered. Smile lines tell a story, we have experienced joy, we have lived, we have seen the world, we have stories to tell.
Why are we so obsessed with not looking our age? Why have we deemed youthfulness as the pinnacle of beauty?
Being constantly terrified of aging and losing your value siphons your energy away from fighting against patriarchal standards of beauty, as well as other important issues. Even though we’ve touched upon greater inclusivity in this industry, we’re still petrified of aging.